Everything I Wish I Knew Before My First Performance Review

The calendar invite popped up two weeks before the date, and I immediately spiraled.

Subject: Performance Review
Attendees: Me + My Manager
Location: Conference Room 3B (!!!)

I panicked. Was I getting fired? Was this secretly a trap? Was my “I don’t know what I’m doing” energy more obvious than I thought?

If you’re gearing up for your first performance review, whether you’re fresh out of school or a few months into your first real job, I promise you’re not alone in this anxiety. No one talks about how confusing this moment can be when you’re still figuring out how to send a “per my last email” without sounding passive-aggressive.

So, here’s everything I wish someone had told me before my first performance review. Let’s break it down into what it is, how to prepare, and how to actually use the feedback without spiraling.

What Is a Performance Review, Really?

A performance review is not a pop quiz. It’s a structured conversation between you and your manager about how you’re doing in your role: what’s working, what needs work, and where you can grow.

It’s also an opportunity to:

• Highlight your wins

• Clarify expectations

• Ask for support or resources

• (Sometimes) advocate for a raise or promotion

But here’s the catch: most early-career professionals show up like it’s a test they’re hoping to pass, instead of a conversation they get to shape.

How to Prep Like a Pro (Without Overdoing It)

1. Gather receipts

Now is not the time for modesty. Take 30 minutes and jot down:

• Wins you’re proud of (big or small)

• Challenges you’ve overcome

• Projects you contributed to

• Any feedback you’ve already received

This helps ground the conversation in facts, not just vibes.

2. Know your job description

Revisit your original job description and make a quick list of how you’ve met (or exceeded) each responsibility. Bonus points if you can attach metrics or outcomes.

3. Be honest about what’s hard

Managers actually appreciate self-awareness. If there’s an area where you’re struggling (unclear expectations, lack of training, difficult workflows), name it. Thoughtfully.

Try:
"One area I’d love more support in is [X]. I’ve been doing [Y], but I’d love your take on how to improve."

4. Write down your questions ahead of time

Performance reviews aren’t just about hearing feedback. They’re a rare moment to ask for clarity. Prep questions like:

• What does success look like in this role for the next 3–6 months?

• Are there growth paths available to me here?

• How do you typically support team members who want to level up?

Things No One Tells You (But You Should Know)

1. It might feel awkward, but that’s normal

Especially if your manager’s not great at giving feedback. Some managers will read straight from a form. Others will wing it. You can’t control the delivery, only your presence.

2. Not all feedback is actionable

If you get vague comments like “be more strategic” or “take more initiative,” ask for examples or suggestions. Clarity is your friend.

Try:
"Can you share a moment when I could have done that differently? I'd love to learn from a specific example."

3. This is a great time to ask for stuff

Want to take a course? Attend a conference? Switch up your responsibilities? Bring it up! If there’s budget or buy-in to be had, this is the moment.

4. You’re allowed to take space after

If the review was hard, it’s okay to decompress. Take a walk. Text a friend. Sleep on the feedback. You don’t have to have a full action plan by 3 p.m.

How to Actually Use the Feedback

Performance reviews are only helpful if you apply what you’ve learned. After the conversation, try this:

• Summarize it in your own words: write down your key takeaways and what you want to do next

• Schedule a follow-up: check in with your manager in 4-6 weeks to revisit progress

• Update your goals: both personal and professional

• Celebrate something: yes, even if the review was mixed. You showed up. That matters.

In Case You’re Spiraling: Some Grounding Truths

• One review does not define your career

• You’re allowed to be new and still valuable

• No one is reviewing you as a person—they’re reviewing how you’re doing in a role

• Growth is uncomfortable, but that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong

Want Help Preparing?

If you're prepping for your first review and feeling overwhelmed, you're not alone. At pretties.chat, we offer expert advice on everything from what to say in your review to how to update your resume afterward. Whether you're navigating feedback, negotiating your role, or trying to figure out your next move, we've got you.

Talk to someone who gets it → Start your first chat